thetravelingwithers.com

Cancer is so very personal. It’s a journey that a person goes on alone. Lenny, his tumor, is only in Ross’ body. It is his lived experience alone. People support, hold space, and walk beside us. But at the end of the day, this is Ross’ journey. There are so many unknowns and so many questions. For planners like us, this has been so difficult.

Recently, some folks have questioned Ross’ decision to join the trial. They also questioned his delay of plaque brachy therapy. Yes, it is HIS decision and I work to follow what HE wants to do. These folks have come with good intentions and care a lot about this wonderful man. They’re scared. Nervous. Questioning. There is so much of this journey we don’t share. So much people don’t know and can’t discover by googling things.

We, too, have wanted to have more control on the situation. But it’s just not possible. Giving up control is hard. Not knowing what next is hard. What’s harder is having folks, again, good-natured, loving folks, question his choices. Making assumptions about his care or lack of care. Ross isn’t giving up. He’s not letting the cancer “take him” from us. He is working towards bigger goals. Personally, to retain more of his sight by shrinking the tumor before plaque brachy therapy. Socially, this man may hold the key to CURING cancer.

It is so wonderful and we are so grateful that folks care about this man. He is a trailblazer.

Rest assured, dear doubters, we have done our research and are making clear informed decisions about care. We believe Ross is on a good path.

Matthew 14:30-31: Jesus says to Peter, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”.

Matthew 21:21-22: Jesus says that if you have faith and do not doubt, you will receive.

Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart”.

Hebrews 11:1: “Faith is the substance of things hoped for.”

Love you all. Even those who may doubt. Thank you for caring. We have faith. We have hope.

After processing these thoughts with my therapist, I have more to add. If you want to help, there are practical ways to consider:

1. Childcare. We have four wonderful (and active) children. We also have no local family in Louisiana. Our kids need consistency and rides to school. If you have a free week or some vacation time, let us know. We would appreciate your support through free childcare. Message us and we will get with you to arrange that. Ross will be in this trial for 3 years. Going to get tests, measurements, and scans is an anxiety-fueling time. Allowing me to go with him to these appointments is a great way to show support. Our kids are a lot though – Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.
   
2. Financially. We are working with some amazing organizations to help us financially on this journey. However, medical bills are starting to come in. We are still negotiating with insurance. We are still funding a household. It costs us about $800-1000 to send Ross to these appointments alone. When I go with him, we’re looking at another $500-$800. We pay for airfare to Minnesota, hotel rooms, food, and any other unexpected costs that arise during these trips. If you’re in a position to help financially, donations to our GoFundMe or Venmo (@Megann-Wither) are truly appreciated. Every bit counts, and it helps ease the stress of managing both medical care and household expenses. We are so grateful for any support you can provide, whether big or small.
   
3. Meals. Managing appointments, treatments, and maintaining a sense of normalcy for the kids creates chaos. As a result, cooking often takes a backseat. Having meals delivered, frozen casseroles (or “hot dish” as they call it in Minnesota!), or even gift cards for DoorDash or UberEats can be a huge help. It saves time. It also clears mental space for us to focus on what’s most important—being present for each other and the kids.
   
4. Encouragement and prayer. The emotional weight of this journey is enormous. Sometimes, a simple text or note of encouragement makes all the difference. You can send Ross a note here or by leaving comments on our social media or blog posts. If you’re not sure what to say, just send a simple message. Know that a “thinking of you” or “praying for you” message can uplift our spirits. For those who believe in the power of prayer, please keep Ross in your thoughts. Pray specifically for his strength, healing, and peace as we navigate this trial.
   
5. Share our story. One of the most powerful ways you can help is by sharing our journey with others. You can post about Ross’ trial on social media. You can also send updates to friends and family. Simply spreading the word about his fight makes a difference. The more people who know, the more support, prayers, and resources we can gather. It also helps raise awareness about uveal melanoma and the clinical trials that are working toward a cure. Sharing our story expands our circle of hope. And it may give someone else the fuel to persevere through this journey as well. We have been so encouraged by the stories of other survivors.

This road is long, uncertain, and often overwhelming, but your love and support have been a light in the darkness. We feel incredibly blessed by the community that has rallied around us. We know we are not walking this path without support. With your help, we can keep moving forward with faith and hope. We believe that Ross is on a path toward healing. He may also potentially help others in ways we never could have imagined.

Thank you for walking beside us. We love you all. Even the well-intentioned doubters!