Ross took this trip solo. Quick update! He met with the study coordinator today and got a lot of papers about the Darovasertib trial. We are THRILLED that he is getting the care that we believe is the best for him. He got to hear that our lovely nurse’s son is okay after Hurricane Milton. And… as an added bonus Ross’ doctor was dressed up as Einstein for Halloween!
When a loved one has to travel solo for medical treatment, it can be easy to feel disconnected. Staying in touch isn’t just about regular check-ins—it’s about finding meaningful ways to stay close. Here are twelve practical tips to help you feel connected, no matter the distance.
1. Set Up a Consistent Communication Schedule
Decide on a routine that works for everyone. You can have morning and evening calls. Another option is a quick text during lunch. Having a regular touchpoint can provide comfort and stability.
We tend to do the dinner call since that’s when the kids are all around the table. It’s the only time they are in one spot. We pass the phone around and ask each of them about their days. We tell them how much we love them and reinforce timelines for coming home (two more sleeps)!
2. Use Video Calls for a “Face-to-Face” Feel
Seeing each other’s faces can make a world of difference. Technology is great! Try a quick FaceTime or Zoom check-in to feel like you’re together, even if only for a few minutes. If video calls aren’t always possible, send quick video messages for a personal touch.
This is Ross talking to the kids on the first night he was away. We love to check out the hotel he’s staying in with a quick tour.
3. Share the Daily Details
Talk about the small stuff you’d normally share in person. Share whether the kids did something interesting. Mention a funny moment with the dog. Include even your grocery list. These everyday details help maintain a sense of normalcy and connection.
I like to challenge Ross to take pictures of all the dogs he meets along the way. People always have an interesting story and it’s fascinating to listen.
4. Send Photos Throughout the Day
We are a huge fan of the selfie! Snap and send photos of little moments throughout your day. It could be what you’re eating, where you’re walking, or the view out your window. It’s a simple way to invite them into your world and stay present in each other’s lives. Here’s what Ross had for lunch today:
5. Make Use of Shared Notes or Journals
Start a shared journal, note, or Google Doc where you and your loved ones jot down thoughts, updates, or memories. It becomes a little shared space for notes, encouragement, or things you might forget to say in a quick call.
6. Sync Up Music or Podcasts
We do not have time for this but it is a great idea from a friend! Listening to the same music playlist, podcast, or audiobook can give you a sense of connection. Share recommendations or create a playlist with songs that mean something to you both. It’s like a shared soundtrack, keeping you both in sync.
7. Plan “Watch Together” Sessions
Pick a show, movie, or even a sports game to watch at the same time from your separate locations. Text or call while you watch to share your reactions. It’s a simple way to spend time together, no matter the distance. If you need a recommendation, check out a Doc Movie!
8. Share Encouraging Texts or Memes
Remember to laugh. Not everything has to be deep or serious. Sending a funny meme, an encouraging quote, or just a quick message to brighten your loved one’s day. Sometimes, a simple “thinking of you” or “this reminded me of you” text goes a long way. I like to send hilarious pictures of our kids doing weird stuff.
9. Respect Each Other’s Schedules
Medical treatments can be tiring, and routines can be chaotic, so be flexible with communication. If Ross is feeling exhausted or busy, a text might be easier than a call. Respecting each other’s needs keeps things comfortable. And, after all, as a stay-at-home introverted father of four, he deserves the peace and quiet (for at least a little bit)!
10. Create a Countdown to Look Forward To
Have something to look forward to together, like a countdown until they’re back (two more sleeps!) or until your next in-person visit. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Looking forward to a date or event gives you both something positive to focus on.
11. Write an Old-School Letter
A handwritten note in someone’s luggage can be deeply personal. A card or small care package is often a nice surprise among all the digital messages. It shows you’re thinking of them and adds a tangible reminder of home. I wasn’t nearly organized enough to try this – but I love the idea and will be doing it in the future!
12. Keep the Conversation Balanced
Balance updates on medical stuff with lighter topics. Talk about hopes, plans, or just normal everyday stuff. The balance keeps the connection feeling natural and helps take the focus off the stress of treatment for a bit. It’s interesting how sometimes you want to talk about what’s going on (aka the cancer). Other times, you just want to be present with each other.
Traveling alone for medical treatment, or loving someone who is traveling for treatment, can be challenging. However, these little things can help bridge the distance. Being intentional, honest, and flexible goes a long way in staying close and supporting each other through tough times.
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